Still Waters Counseling

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Teen Stress – Coping and Learning

Life without it would be boring. What?! Are you kidding?!  That’s right, some stress is necessary for us to accomplish our goals, and since it is unavoidable, it just makes sense to learn how to cope with it. The challenges caused by stress help us learn to develop new skills and behavior. As parents, we are in the position to responsibly model these skills for our children.

 Parents – talk with, not at, your teen. Discuss family goals and difficulties, but don’t burden.

 Too much stress can have a negative effect on one’s body, mind and feelings. Therefore, recognizing the early signs is critical to maintaining good health.

 Some signs of stress:

• Trouble sleeping
• Increased physical illness – up to 90% of all illness is stress-related
• Lack of concentration
• Forgetfulness
• Drop in school performance
• Carelessness
• Increased emotional responses (anger, sadness, withdrawal, fear, boredom)
• Nightmares

 It isn’t enough to say, “don’t worry”. There is a difference between using coping resources and ignoring. Coping is doing something to reduce the stress. Ignoring is doing nothing, and causes stress levels to increase. Teens, like adults, need coping resources, such as:

• Exercise at least 20 minutes three times a week
• Monitor your diet – avoid sugar, eat more vegetables, take a multi-vitamin, and eat regularly
• Avoid caffeine –it increases feelings of anxiety and agitation
• Don’t use illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco – these are temporary boosters that inhibit our ability to realistically assess our situations

• Learn relaxation exercises – breathing and muscle relaxation
• Develop assertiveness – stating feelings in firm, polite ways, not passively, nor aggressively
• Break large tasks into smaller tasks
• Discover what your choices are
• Organize
• Take steps in a process one at a time
• Ask for help before you are overwhelmed
• Take breaks, but don’t procrastinate
• Increase positive self-talk – “I can do this if I work at it and get some help”.
• Learn to be happy with your best effort – perfection is unrealistic
• Build a network of friends who will help in positive ways
• Learn problem solving: brainstorm solutions, think of consequences, choose a solution, evaluate success
• Avoid making too many major changes at the same time – even good changes.

Our stress tolerance determines the amount of stress we can handle before a chemical imbalance occurs in our bodies. Here is another thing teens can blame on their parents – stress tolerance is hereditary, and begins to show most during teen years. It is therefore essential that parents recognize their own stressors. Examine what you are teaching your teen about stress by the way you cope with it, and work together to learn and use a variety of coping resources.

"You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers."

                                                               - John J. Plomp

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